InnerDemons and Angels
by Kiku-Kitten
Summary: One year on since Hitomi returned back home but she isn't coping well with depression and nightmares about Gaea and a certain someone... she wants to return, but would that be such a good idea? I'm back people! :P Btw, rating may go up.
1. Chapter 1

Discalimer: I do not own escaflowne or any of its characters. The only characters that I own in this so far are Ashitaka, that aside, escaflowne is the product of sunrise inc. and not mine TT 

_She was submerged in searing pain. The bloody wounds throbbed. She found herself chained to a wall by her small and delicate wrists, every inch of her body drained of all energy. She wore a flowing white gown stained by the red liquid, her shoulder-length light brown hair draped around shoulders rubbing against the scored flesh, making her wince. Salty tears ran freely down her pale and drained face, and dripped onto the cuts causing them to burn in agonising pain. She looked up and around her to see nothing but darkness. She saw nothing but herself and the wall, but then a mysterious figure emerged from the shadows. The outline of the figure was familiar…perhaps a little too familiar…a girl of no more than fifteen, with a light frame and a pale complexion, with short light brown hair and striking green eyes, wearing a school uniform and trainers. The now-terrified girl chained to the wall stared wide-eyed at herself. She was looking into the eyes of her tormentor only to find that it was herself. How could this be? This must be some of trick played out by someone else. It **must** be. The terrified Hitomi struggled at her the chains that bound her; unaware of and uncaring for the strength she had left in her body. Looking around frantically, the reflection of herself approached the frightened Hitomi. And suddenly she stopped. Her reflection smiled an evil smile, one that resembled an old adversary from her past on Gaea. Her reflection's eyes grew dark and twisted. With one swift movement, the reflection suddenly lunged her arm into the chained girl's chest, pressing violently into the poor girl's fragile flesh. A piercing scream. The shock and emptiness of the chained Hitomi's eyes stood away from the rest of her image. The reflection drew her hand away again, tearing something away with it. Another violent shriek. The now-dying and helpless Hitomi looked up at her image, an agonising expression printed on her face and looked at her hand. There she found the reason of the emptiness she felt inside. In her reflection's small hands was her heart, still beat bravely on, but to no avail, the heartbeat slowed. Tears re-emerged on Hitomi's face as she saw her mirror image smiling a wide smile at her and looked behind her to find Van standing there with that heart-broken look on his face. _

"_Van!" she cried, but found her voice quietly, muted from the cavity in her chest. _

_He looked up at her, a dark, helpless and painful expression on his face. Her reflection looked at her too. _

"_I can protect you from others Hitomi, I can love you and protect you from others, but I cannot protect you from yourself". His pained face darkened, "I have loved you and you have betrayed me". _

_She tried to speak, but found she couldn't. The pain was too much, not just from her injuries but also from she had just heard from Van, someone she loved. _

"_You did this to yourself Hitomi", the reflection said, "Look into the eyes of your torturer and who do you see?"_

Hitomi woke up suddenly and startled at such a horrid nightmare. A soft tear rolled down her cheek. She reached for her throbbing left forearm. She sat there and wept alone in the darkness of her bedroom.

Van woke abruptly and sat up in his bed. He was sweating lightly and panting. He pushed the covers away and sat on his bed trying to make sense of what he had seen in his nightmare. A hand met his forehead and swept his raven-coloured hair back from his head, a worried look still on his face.

"Hi…Hitomi?"

The following day at school, Hitomi wore a dark face throughout her lessons and spoke very little, only when she needed to. It wasn't as if she spoke a lot any more anyway.

Yukari was deeply worried for her friend. She'd been like this for a little over seven months now, but today was the worst of them all. Before she went there, to Gaea, Hitomi had been so full of life and enthusiasm. She was so happy and cheerful. She had been for quite happy some time after she had returned as well, but it all went downhill about five months after her return. Yukari thought that her best friend was beginning to improve in the last two months; she had even gotten a boyfriend recently. But obviously Yukari was wrong; nothing she could do could lighten the shadows that had infected her once beautiful face. But at least she could try…

Yukari paused on the steps toward the running track where they were headed, Hitomi walked a few steps further and then stopped and turned toward her friend, her face blank and expressionless, in contrast to Yukari's look of worry and concern.

"Hitomi…what's wrong? I thought that you were getting better these last few weeks and now this? What's going on Hitomi?"

When she saw that expecting an answer from Hitomi would be fruitless, she continued…

"Is it something at school? With your family or friends? Or Ashitaka? Is it…" Yukari paused briefly and looked towards the steps, "…is it me? Have I done something wrong? If I have you can tell me. Please, Hitomi, let me help you."

Hitomi looked away from Yukari, toward the track where they were originally headed. She had had no reaction to her best friend's words. She walked a few steps further…

"We said we'd meet Ashitaka on the track after my run, if we don't get going we'll be late."

Hitomi wanted to tell Yukari about the dream and about Van. She had managed to leave Van out of her description of Gaea which she told her best friend about upon her return.

'Van…' she thought to herself. 'If only I were with you now…I miss you Van. You've probably forgotten me…' A lone tear fell down her cheek, but she wiped it away before Yukari could see. That was the last thing she wanted Yukari to see…how she really felt.

Van sat on his throne in his now re-built palace and capital. He looked at the pendant with a pink stone in his hand with sad hazel eyes and thought of his beloved Hitomi. It had been just over a year and he missed her so very much. She was all he thought of. There he sat alone, in the vast throne room and he had never felt so empty or heartbroken. He needed her. He would reach her…somehow…

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Ok, this is my first ever fanfic attempt so I want you guys to be completely honest in your reviews. If you think it's rubbish don't be afraid to tell me so, but I hope you guys liked it at least a little bit.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The Escaflowne TV series and film and all other related merchandise belong to Sunrise inc. except for this fanfic and Ashitaka! Mwahahah! I only wish I could own Folken-sama and Dilandau-sama TT

A/N: Apologies to all! Sorry I haven't updated for ages, but I've been busy with my schoolwork. I'm afraid I can't guarantee a weekly or bi-weekly etc. update, I'll just have to update whenever I can.

Thankyou all for your reviews as well

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Van sat in quiet contemplation. All he could think about was her, and that dream. He missed beyond belief and he needed her with him.

Van wore a sad look on his face. He was still staring at the pink gem in his hand, wishing, praying for that pillar of light to appear and bring back to him what he most cherished.

Merle walked past the throne room as she continued her search for Van. She stopped briefly and looked inside the immense room and her eyes met with the dejected, young Fanelian King.

Merle sighed. She slowly walked into the room and stood before the King in the hopes of seeing his expression change.

"Oh Van-sama, if you keep that look on your face for much longer, it'll stay like that!" Merle scolded him. She hoped he would give some ort of reaction. He could give a look that said told her she was over-stepping her bounds by teasing him like this. He could scold her for being rude. He could even hit her over the head for saying such things, but nothing. He slowly looked up at Merle, still maintaining his pained expression. He got up, and left, leaving a bewildered Merle alone in the throne room.

Merle decided to follow Van for most of the day to see if he got any better. Merle was deeply concerned for her Van-sama; she hadn't ever seen him like this. It all started a few weeks after Hitomi had left and he didn't seem to perk up over anything. He showed little enthusiasm in the re-building of his kingdom and even Guymelef tournaments, which he used to love fighting in or just watching, did nothing for him any more.

When she decided that Van wasn't going to improve that day, she decided to take matters into her own hands, Merle started work on her plan…

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As Hitomi and Yukari neared the track, a sixteen-year-old boy with medium length, messy, dark brown hair caught sight of them and smiled as his deep blue eyes lit up a little, in the hope that Hitomi would return the warm greeting. Ashitaka had always liked Hitomi at a distance, he had had a crush on her for as long as he could remember and envied Amano, his older brother because of Hitomi's crush on him. He had known that Hitomi had been miserable a lot of the time lately, and Ashitaka was starting to think that maybe it was his fault somehow. Before they had started going out, she had seemed so full of life. Full of a kind of infectious energy whenever she was happy and he had admired that in Hitomi, but now…it was as if she lost that part of her somehow. He had been seeing for 3 months now, and even though she had improved recently, or so he heard from Yukari, she'd been really distant today. He hoped to make her feel better…

"Come on Kanzaki! You've been late every track meet for the last 2 weeks! You keep this up and you'll be off the team…and we'd all know what a great loss that'd be…" with that, he winked at Hitomi to provoke a reaction.

Hitomi perked up a little with the sound of Ashitaka's voice in her ears. He had been the only thing that he kept her as happy, or even remotely as her old self recently.

Hitomi playfully hit Ashitaka on the arm and then hugged him. After a few minutes, she hesitated and then broke the embrace. She still felt a little guilty whenever she was like this with someone else. Whenever she showed some sort of affection with Ashitaka, they hadn't had their first kiss yet, but she wasn't so sure she wanted to have it either. All she thought of was Van's face from the dream last night, now and felt a pang of guilt. She tried to hide this from her friends, so she ignored the feeling for now, smiled and made her way to the track…

A/N: ok sorry this one's a lot shorter, but I haven't had a lot of time recently. I'm supposed to be doing homework right now but I needed to get some of this done too XD

Sayonara! R&R please!


	3. Authoress' Note 2

I know I said previously that I had to suspend this fanfiction, but I'm afraid I shall have to discontinue now…mainly due to lack of interest and talent...but also to lack of time. I have started to take my GCSE exams, and they should be over by mid-June. With a bit of hope, I shall start a new fanfiction to occupy my time over the extended summer holidays.

I apologise to those who were previously reading this fanfictions, but hopefully I should make it up to you all with this new fiction, I shall give further details about name, category (will most likely be an anime) etc. at a later date (i.e. when I've actually started it XP) but it's most likely I'll try to start off with some one-shots at first to get back into the swing of things.

Sorry for my lack of commitment to the story people, please don't hate me!

Sayonara xx (at least 'til I give some more details)


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